A thought – if I actually did see you in a real supermarket, how the heck would I approach you! Ahem..., you know, that rack of lamb is 20 cents cheaper per pound at the other store... er, ah, yes! Of course it's vegielamb!

As a piece of fruit at the market (no, not fruitcake!),… no wait; if I were a fine bottle of wine, what would the description say:-\

Dry sweetness with strong substance, some overtones of good-natured sarcasm, and a pleasant if spicy aftertaste presides with just a hint of wild berries and pencil shavings. Will keep well in bright and good humoured location, can be drunk now, and will age well.

Oh, and I can cook, and I bake my own bread (in the oven), which goes nicely with good wine. However, I'm not too accomplished at the BBQ, I'm afraid. I'm also not watching much TV these days, and can't say I'm a keener for watching TV sports, though I'll watch with you if you want and bring you the wings and beer… Yikes! This doesn't sound like a real man at all… Disregard that stuff about the BBQ, TV and sports, and if there's anything else in my text that's not right proper manly, disregard that too.
Epilogue: Now, isn't that cute!!!